You need to follow this woman’s tumblr. Now.

emmyblotnick:

Sunshine Day Spa
New York, NY 10065

5 reviews for Sunshine Day Spa

K.L., Flushing, NY. 4 Stars.

I went for a lymphatic massage and it was great. I had Raymundo and he was very attentive, one of the best I’ve had.

Ladies, just a slight warning that you may feel like he teeters along the line of what is appropriate and what’s not, but I assure you he doesn’t cross the line.

Jane B., Manhattan, NY. 3 Stars.

I found Sunshine Day Spa through a Groupon deal and had a relaxation massage with Raymundo. It was good, but I don’t understand why Raymundo had to interlock his fingers with mine the whole time. I had never seen this technique before — he massaged with the hand that was not holding mine as opposed to massaging my back with both hands. I am not sure why. I did not expect to hold hands with Raymundo for an hour.

Jennifer Reed, Jamaica, Queens, NY. 2 Stars.

I also bought the Groupon and have concerns about Raymundo. He put his hands way too close to my woman parts. When I asked him to focus just on my neck and shoulders he shushed me and told me to stop “acting like a pony-horse.” I am bewildered by this man and I shudder thinking about him.

Helena Gordon, Manhattan, NY. 1 Star.

Raymundo had his face WAY too close to mine throughout the massage. Due to this, he never reached my lower back at all. I could feel his breath the whole time. He called me a pony horse as well — is that a reference to a movie or something? I’m so creeped out.

Additionally, completely unprompted, Raymundo said women can’t be doctors. What?! Someone shut this place down.

Emmy Blotnick, New York, NY. 1 Star.

I wish I could give this place ZERO stars but that isn’t an option on this website. After reading other reviews of Raymundo’s massage technique, I booked an appointment with him only for an hour to pass where he did NOTHING but massage my neck and shoulders. Do I not deserve the same treatment as everyone else? I feel hideous, like I’m at a middle school dance and the boy I like will dance with everyone but me. I am upset beyond words and will stick to Craigslist for my sexual needs in the future. Why, Raymundo, why?